If you’re one that seeks thrill from reading someone else’s diary, I highly suggest hijacking Rhoda Janzen’s memoir of going home. ”Mennonite in a Little Black Dress" falls nothing short of a brutally honest account of the most challenging obstacles Janzen has overcome as a recent divorceé. Sure, self-help books, family, friends and faith have helped along the way, but her introspection trumps all. Intrigued by Janzen’s constant e-mails about bunking up with her old-fashioned Mennonite parents at 44 years old, her friends finally urged her to share her hilarious tidbits with the world. You are going to wish you had your very own “Pee Bag” like her when laughing out loud is taken to the next level.
Not only can I taste the braised cabbage in one of her five “shame-based” foods from her childhood lunchbox, but also I cringe at her mother’s “Moses of all farts” in the grocery store that soils the page. Her tone similar to Cathy Lamb’s wit, Janzen’s consistent ability to make the words jump off the page turns this confessional into a conversation with your best friend. Without whining, she explains the grieving process of losing her husband of 15 years to Bob, a man he met on Gay.com.
While she admits her continued bouts with her abusive husband were a result of her idiocy, she doesn’t drown in self-pity or even blame him entirely. Where there is a moment to dwell on the unfortunate hand she was dwelt, she surprises readers with newfound wisdom.
While living at home, she comes to accept her parents’ devoutness to the Mennonite doxy, simultaneously creating her own belief system. Though she recognizes the Bible’s “toxic charm,” she believes: “When you’re young, faith is often a matter of rules. But as you get older, you realize that faith is really a matter of relationship — with God, with the people around you, with the members of your community.” Despite the social rejections of the conservative Mennonites, she highlights the relationships she cherishes within her religious community.
However, one can’t help but first wonder the significance of her interaction with a slightly deaf elderly neighbor, Mrs. Friesen, obsessed with cat books with titles such as "The Cat That Dropped a Bombshell." But, as no good deed goes unpunished, Janzen’s visit leads her to Mrs. Friesen's Mennonite grandson who appreciates her "real nice shape" and generosity just as his grandmother does.
Now heavily immersed in academia at Hope College in Michigan, Janzen presents new logic that prompts a reader of any age to reflect upon one’s character. She presents arguments that make even flaws seem understandable. As she tackles the human condition, she raises the simplest of questions rarely considered by all of society: “And since even the most virtuous among us displays this adiaphorous morality, what if we agreed just to let people be who they are, since we can’t change them anyway?”
While she explains that only patterns of behavior can explain virtue, I realize it is all in your foundation, not necessarily your “genetic gift basket,” but how you add value to it everyday. For some, it’s adding ingredients of your mom’s cooking to your past knowledge and coming up with something all your own.
Instead of meandering through the self-help aisle at the bookstore, I urge you to immerse yourself in conversation with Janzen. An articulate, poignant and refreshing woman, Janzen can sympathize with just about anyone.
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